


Falling Apart To Half Time

by kittylullu123



Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, The Academy Is...
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, High School, Insecure!William, Jock!Gabe, M/M, One Shot, Only for a tiny bit, Triggers, teenagers in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 10:19:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8140486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittylullu123/pseuds/kittylullu123
Summary: William knows that Gabe loves him, he's just under a lot of pressure right now.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Guess what? It's another high school AU! Surprise surprise!   
> For real though this is one of the longest things I have ever written and I wrote it when I should have been doing the endless amounts of homework that I have now so be grateful. :)
> 
> Constructive Criticism always welcome <3

“Hey Bilvy” Sisky’s voice shook William out of the reverie he had been in, daydreaming about his beautiful boyfriend and what he was going to do to relax him after his big game at the end of the week.

“Whatcha thinking about there Bill? Oh -wait -actually was it about Gabe? Because if so I don’t think I want to know” Sisky said, playfully but with a slight serious tone in his eyes like he was remembering the last time William overshared about his relationship (In his defence, he had been really excited about that underwear and Sisky was his best friend).

“Um, yeah I don’t think you do want to know” William laughed as his friend pretended to throw up on the floor “Also I’ll meet you after lunch ok?” He knew that’s what Adam was there for, the boy was always thinking about food, but he had some plans of his own which involved his boyfriend, a letterman jacket and the back of some dark supply closet somewhere in the science corridor.

“Bilvy? What’s this about? You can’t skip meals yeah- we talked about this. I don’t want it to go back to how it was before...” Sisky trailed off and William understood, the memories were too painful to revisit, but that was a long time ago, before William had Gabe.

“No, no- Sisky look, I appreciate you worrying ok? But I just want to see Gabe. I haven’t seen him in a couple of days because he’s been so busy with football practice you know? I swear I had a massive breakfast this morning and you even saw me eat that bag of crisps at break. I’m okay Sisky I promise.” And it was true, William really did feel okay, he had his friends and he was doing well at school and he had the best boyfriend in the whole world.

“Ok man, if you say so. I trust you.” Sisky looked and William and grabbed his hand, giving it a soft squeeze before sprinting off down the corridor whilst shouting about how all the pizza better not be gone.

William, on the other hand, walked sedately down the corridor and stopped outside Gabe’s classroom door, hoping to surprise his boyfriend. But when Gabe left the class he ran straight out into the corridor with his football friends, not even noticing Bill was there or looking around for him.

William reassured himself that Gabe had probably just thought he would meet him after practice and set off sprinting down the corridor to catch up with his boyfriend, jumping on his back at the last minute before Gabe got into the changing rooms, which were like the forbidden forest to anyone who didn’t do football. Gabe however, didn’t seem to find William’s surprise as cute as the boy had anticipated.

“Fucking hell! What are you doing William- You could have really injured me. And with the big game on Friday, imagine what would have happened.” Gabe looked genuinely angry and William felt dumb, how could he be so stupid? Gabe was under a lot of pressure to do well in the match and William could have ruined all of his hard work just because he wanted to have a stupid cute moment.

“I, um, I’m sorry.” William looked down at the ground sheepishly “It’s just that I-uh- I waited. For you. Outside your classroom. And I guess you didn’t notice me so I had to run to catch up. Sorry I-uh- I wasn’t thinking about the game.” He spoke in an apologetic tone of voice so Gabe would know how sorry he was. “I thought maybe we could get lunch together, because we haven’t been together really, for the past few days. I just wanted to see you for longer than 5 minutes and we both have free periods afterwards so we could drive into town and get food or something?”

“I forgive you don’t worry” Gabe said with a laugh, and then flashed his eyes towards the locker room door, like he was itching to get inside, a feeling which William had personally never understood because he hated sport so the room held only bad memories for him.

“Do- do you-uh- need me to eat with you?” Gabe said awkwardly once he had turned back to William, leaving his boyfriend confused.

“Huh?”

“I mean, I have practice, you know, and with the big match and all I just need to practice in my frees as well, so I don’t really have time to get lunch. But if you- you know- _need_ me to eat with you, if you’re struggling I mean, then of course it’s no problem.”

William finally caught on to what he was hinting at and wondered what it was with people worrying about him today, first Sisky, now Gabe.

“Oh, oh, no I don’t need you to. I just thought it would be nice. Sorry it was dumb; I know you need to practice. I’ll just see you after school ok?” William leaned up to give his boyfriend a quick kiss before heading to the canteen to sulk with Sisky, but Gabe pulled back almost immediately.

“I’m practicing after school as well, using all my free time- you know? So I’ll see you soon or something. Maybe skype tonight if I’m not too tired. Anyway I have to go.” And he headed off into the locker rooms without even a second glance at the boy he’d left behind.

“You know, I feel bad for you.” The sugar sweet voice of Jenny Smith (too sweet if you asked William) rang out from behind him and William wondered how his relatively good day could have taken such a bad turn.

“I mean, he’s so two faced and it probably upsets you right?” Her face was contorted into something resembling a smile, which wasn’t unusual on her, but what was unusual was the underlying tone of concern in her eyes. Either she was serious or she was one hell of an actor. William would bet all his money for the latter, he hadn’t seen this girl be serious, ever, and he had known her since kindergarten.

“I don’t know what you’re on about and frankly, I don’t care, would you just let me through please?” William responded, indicating the gaggle of cheerleaders blocking his way to the lunch hall. All he wanted to do was go and whine to Sisky about how bad the school food was.

“Oh you don’t know?” And if that wasn’t the fakest response to anything _ever_ , William would eat his own hair.

“Know what?” He said, tiredly, thinking that maybe if he just appeased them by thinking he wanted to hear what they had to say then they would let him go quicker.

“All those things he’s been saying. You know, like how clingy you are and how annoying It is and how he might break up with you if you don’t get the message soon. I mean, that’s probably why he’s avoiding you, what other reason could there be?” William was fed up with this cliché, he knew Gabe had the match and he trusted his boyfriend to talk about his problems face to face, not behind his back. That’s how their relationship worked.

“Yeah, not to mention that he didn’t even bring you to the party on Saturday night.” Another girl, Abi, William thought, or maybe Annie? Something that began with A anyway.

“What party?” Bill was confused, Gabe had said he had work to do on Saturday night, he hadn’t mentioned a party.

“The pre-game party. I did find it a bit weird that he didn’t bring you to be honest. I mean, it’s basically a hook-up. You know, all the players bring their partners and they have their last bit of-um-alone time before match week. Because they all have to be in prime fitness for the match I guess.” Jenny’s sickly sweet voice spat out the words like venom and t travelled quickly to William’s heart. Gabe had lied to him. Was he ashamed of William? Was it William’s body, or his hair? Or his personality.

The influx of insecurities overwhelmed him and he pushed past the cheerleaders and strode towards the lunch hall. He would not let himself think like that. He didn’t want it to get back to how it used to be. Gabe loved him, he had said it enough times and he would probably say it the next time William got to talk to him. He was just busy with the match- after all there was a lot of pressure on him to get a scholarship to college. Everything would be fine just so long as William **breathed.**   _Why couldn’t he breathe? Oh my God he can’t breathe. He’s going to die. He knows it. He could feel all the breath leaving his lungs no matter how much he tried to get it back in._

“Bilvy? William? Will? It’s okay. Everything’s ok I promise. Just take a deep breath. Just one deep breath please. For me? I know you can do it.” The voice was there, suddenly, as if sent from the god William didn’t believe in.

“There you go. I knew you could. Just keep doing that, ok? Good, good.” It took William a little time to come back to the surface and realise that he just had a panic attack in the boy’s bathroom and Patrick of all people had to help him out of it. Patrick. As in Pete’s boyfriend. As in Gabe’s best friend’s boyfriend. And Gabe had told Pete to keep an eye on William, which basically meant that he had told Patrick to look out for William because those two did everything together.

“Hey Patrick?” William’s voice was a little croaky and his throat hurt from all the hyperventilating, but he needed to talk to Patrick.

“Yeah?” Patrick was looking through his bag as though trying to find something and William had a small internal freak out when he realised it was his phone he was looking for. Probably because he needed to call someone, someone like- “Pete?” Patrick’s voice sounded relieved as it travelled through the phone.

“DON’T TELL PETE! Um, please?” Patrick looked at him questioningly and then told Pete he would call him later and that he loved him. William wished he could still call Gabe at any random time and just be told he was loved, but god forbid he did that anymore- especially not when Gabe was at practice, like Pete was right now.

“Look, I know you and Pete tell each other everything and I’m really sorry to put you in this awkward position, but you can’t tell Pete about my panic attack.” William felt stupid pleading but he didn’t know what else to do. Patrick and Pete didn’t lie to each other. Ever. William knew he would have to have a super good reason for all this.

“I Just-I-Me and Gabe had an argument.” Yeah, that was good. Showed the strange circumstances. William and Gabe argued about as often as Pete and Patrick didn’t tell each other everything. So, never. “And I just felt a bit insecure and I said some stuff that I didn’t mean and we’ll talk later, really, we will. But I don’t want him to think this was his fault-because it really wasn’t. So I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t tell Pete because he will tell Gabe and that would be bad.” Patrick nodded along and William felt bad for lying but he supposed that he didn’t lie about everything so that must count for something- right?

“Ok. I won’t tell Pete, but you and Gabe never have arguments- are you sure everything’s ok William?” Patrick looked concerned and William didn’t want to think he was causing anyone else unnecessary stress. God he was such a burden sometimes, he didn’t know how anyone put up with it.

“Yeah its fine. He’s just stressed, I promise it’s no big deal. I would tell you If it was.”

 

* * *

 

 **Trigger Warning** (Please don't read if you are easily triggered by cutting)

William couldn’t help it. After the-incident- in the bathroom he had gone to find Sisky and just clung to him until the end of the day when he could finally go home and sleep. Except the problem was that he couldn’t. He just couldn’t sleep. Every time he shut his eyes, he could see the negative thoughts swirling around his head. He had tried playing his guitar, writing lyrics, even drawing- which god knows he was awful at. And then he’d made the mistake of trying to watch a movie. All his movies reminded him of Gabe because they had this tradition of exchanging movie recommendations. And thinking of Gabe meant that the negative thoughts only got worse and worse until he couldn’t take it anymore. William knew that only two things could help to dull them and considering how one of them was Gabe, William felt like he really didn’t have a choice.

As he got up and walked towards his bathroom he could feel his brain fighting with itself. Like there were two sides and It didn’t matter who won, as long as William’s mind was destroyed somewhere along the way.

He knew he would regret it in the morning and, as he worked the blade out of his razor, he felt a nagging thought in the back of his mind reminding him of his promise to Gabe, but he just couldn’t reach it. His brain was foggy and the only thing he could focus on was the sharp pain that erupted in his wrists as he systematically sliced them to shreds, punishing himself for ever thinking it was ok to not be perfect. Every piece of food he had eaten in the last two years, every compliment he had accepted, every time he looked at his razor and didn’t want it to be covered in little droplets of blood.

By the time he was finished William was exhausted. He carefully disinfected the cuts, wrapped his wrists up in bandages and slept.

* * *

**End of trigger**

When William woke up he vomited. He felt sick to his stomach about what he had done and there was no way to go back and correct what it. He knew he shouldn’t have broken his promise to Gabe. He had sworn that he would call Gabe whenever he felt that bad and Gabe had, in return, promised to always be there when he needed him. No matter how annoyed or upset he was with William, or busy he was with practice, the boy knew that if he had just texted or phoned Gabe, his boyfriend would be there as soon as was humanly possible.

It would be okay though. On Wednesdays William always picked Gabe up and they went and sat in their favourite spot by the river and just talked for an hour before school. It was their tradition, their way of sticking together no matter how busy or crazy their lives were. William thought it signified their whole relationship and how it grounded each of them in their teenage madness. He could explain it all to Gabe and there would be no shouting, Gabe might be disappointed, sure, but then he would probably just hold William and whisper sweet nothings into his ear. That’s what Bill really needed right now, just to be held and told that all of this was okay. And then maybe a trip to his therapist.

When William pulled up to Gabe’s his boyfriend wasn’t waiting on the porch with a thermos full of coffee as he usually was but Bill knew that he was tired and had probably just overslept. He knocked on the door, planning on surprising his boyfriend by being the first one ready, as Gabe always complained about how long it took William to do his hair in the mornings.

But as the door opened William was met with the friendly face of Grace, his boyfriend’s mom, looking rather confused.

“Hi, uh- I’m here for Gabe. We always get together on Wednesday mornings you know- but not like that- I mean- by get together I mean like meet up. Not sex, nothing sexual, we’re very angelic I can assure you. I just- I’ve come to get Gabe.” William could feel his face heating up as he spoke. He had never been good at talking to adults, especially not his boyfriend’s parents, but Gabe said they thought it was sweet so hopefully Grace would understand.

“It’s okay William I know what you meant.” Grace let out a little laugh then and William could see where Gabe got his beautiful smile from. “But Gabe isn’t here, he went to practice. I thought he told you.”

“Oh, well he didn’t.” William couldn’t help the sadness travelling through his words as they tumbled out of his mouth. His boyfriend had forgotten the most important part of William’s week. Maybe it didn’t mean as much to him as it did to William, maybe their relationship didn’t mean as much to him as it did to William. He remembered the words of the cheerleaders from the day before, remembered how they had said Gabe might break up with him if he didn’t stop being so clingy. But he didn’t know how else to behave around Gabe, he just wanted to be with him all the time. His boyfriend was like a light and William was like a moth, just drawn to him. Maybe that was unhealthy but it had always kept him happy before so he had thought it was working quite well.

“I’m sure he doesn’t mean anything by it William. He’s just really stressed out about the match and he has a lot of pressure from the coach you know? He wants him to get a scholarship because he thinks Gabe has a real talent. It probably just slipped his mind. I can tell him you came over if you want. I mean you’ll probably see him before me but just in case?”

William loved Grace and he knew she meant well but he didn’t know if she fully understood the situation. To be perfectly honest he didn’t think he fully understood the situation. All he knew was that his boyfriend had probably talked about how he wanted to break up with him and now he was forgetting their traditions and focussing all his energy on some stupid football match.

Of course, William knew that really the match wasn’t stupid. Gabe wanted to go to college and this was his way in. But he was going to insist on calling it stupid because it was taking his boyfriend away when he really needed to talk to him.

“No that’s okay, like you said I’m sure I’ll see him before you- at lunch or something.”

 

In fact, William didn’t even go to lunch. He told Sisky the same bullshit lie about going to eat with Gabe and then hid in the back of the library until lunch was over. Sure, his best friend was a bit suspicious but William had just mentioned that they had a bit of an argument and he wanted to smooth things over.

It was only when he walked into his house that William remembered that he hadn’t eaten breakfast either. But that was okay, he wasn’t particularly hungry anyway. He ate a couple of strands of pasta to appease his mother and then went into his room to check if Gabe was on Skype (Of course he wasn’t) and fell asleep.

 

The next couple of days passed in much the same manner. He was forced to eat lunch with Sisky on Friday because everyone knew that the team had lunch together on match days- something about their coach wanting to make sure they didn’t overwork themselves. But essentially William hadn’t seen Gabe except for short glances in the halls and hadn’t communicated with him except for one good luck text which he sent before the game.

William was a coward, he knew he was, but he couldn’t face going to the match. It would probably be better for Gabe if he wasn’t distracted by thinking about William’s ugly face in the crowd and besides, after the match Gabe would have nothing to pre-occupy him, he could break up with William as soon as he had a bit of spare time and Bill couldn’t face what his life would be without Gabe holding him together.

 

* * *

 

William couldn’t be more wrong about his boyfriend’s feelings. The match was over, their team had won and Gabe was very confused. He hadn’t seen William in the crowd at all, no cute signs being held up, no crazy outfit to make sure Gabe would know he was there supporting him. Even without his adorable quirkiness, Gabe could usually pick out his boyfriend from the crowd just by his beauty. In his opinion William outshone even angels. But tonight he just couldn’t see him, anywhere. He could however, see Sisky and usually wherever Sisky was, William was too (unless he was with Gabe).

Sisky was talking to Patrick when Gabe sprinted up to him, but he turned around and almost jumped on Gabe when he saw him coming.

“Congratulations man! Oh my god that touchdown though! You looked like a demon out there, definitely got a scholarship mate. If you didn’t I will personally cut off all of Bilvy’s hair and risk his endless wrath.” Sisky’s voice was upbeat and Gabe was grateful but he really didn’t care about his scholarship at that exact moment -he just wanted to know where his boyfriend was.

“Where’s William? Is he ill? He never misses a match- ever.” Gabe stated bluntly, but inside he was freaking out. What if something bad had happened? What if someone had hurt William? Or (and in Gabe’s mind this was even worse) what if he had hurt himself so badly he couldn’t even muster up the energy to come to the match.

“I don’t know what’s going on with him to be honest- he’s been acting really weird lately but every time I try to bring it up he just tells me that I have to trust him and that I need to stop being so overprotective all the time.” Sisky sighed lightly before continuing. “I did check he wasn’t going back to how he was before though I swear. I’m not that shit of a friend. His mom said he was eating fine at home apart from not eating breakfast because he got it with you on Wednesday and then obviously he was eating lunch with you the past few days as well, but he ate fine today when I was with him at lunch. I mean he was a bit down but that’s probably because of the argument you guys had right?” Sisky looked at Gabe expectantly and Gabe stared blankly back because he had no idea what Sisky was on about.

“Oh yeah, he was pretty upset about that. Maybe he just decided not to come tonight because of that. He seemed really torn up about it on Tuesday but I thought you guys would have sorted it out by now what with all the morning and lunch time meetings. What were you doing for all that time? Sitting in silence and staring into space?” Patrick laughed but by now Gabe was extremely confused and extremely worried.

“No we weren’t doing anything for all that time. Because we weren’t together for any of It. I haven’t seen him in days, and we haven’t spoken either and there definitely hasn’t been an argument. I’m not really sure what’s going on- is this some kind of weird joke?” But Gabe knew it wasn’t a joke from the looks on both the boys’ faces and it was suddenly dawning on all three of them that maybe William was a better actor than they thought.

Sisky was the first to speak, his exact words were: “That motherfucker.” And before anyone else could say anything Gabe was rushing towards his car, not caring that he hadn’t locked his locker properly, or that he was missing his evening out with the guys. All he could hear was the adrenaline pounding through his veins and Sisky shouting “Tell him I’m never trusting him again” behind him as he drove off.

The first thing he noticed as he pulled into the driveway was that William’s house was dark. Darker than usual. Not even William’s bedroom light was on. So when Gabe climbed in through the open window after scaling the tree outside (cliché but hey, that’s how William’s garden was and Gabe certainly wasn’t complaining) Gabe wasn’t surprised to see his boyfriend lying on his bed in the darkness. In fact, if he hadn’t been so in love with every little thing William ever did, he may have thought he was asleep. But Gabe knew he wasn’t because his breath wasn’t doing that cute little thing of hitching after every inhale and his body wasn’t relaxed enough to be asleep. William looked like an angel when he slept, pure and perfect, like nothing could ever hurt him. But right now, the boy looked so vulnerable, so scared, like he was hurting inside and out, and all Gabe wanted to do was make it stop.

“Bilvy?” He whispered into the darkness, slowly stepping towards the boy.

“Gabe?” William sounded scared, almost like he was scared of Gabe. And that’s what hurt the most.

“I think we should talk.” William’s breath hitched and he shrank back as Gabe sat on the bed. He looked terrified.

“No, please don’t Gabe. Please don’t do it. I need you, I can’t live without you and I don’t care how clingy it sounds. I’m trying my best, I’m trying my hardest to be perfect for you. Please just don’t break up with me. Please.”

Gabe’s heart broke. His boyfriend, his love, the person who meant more to him than anything, anyone, else in the entire universe was hurting himself because he had some stupid notion that Gabe was going to break up with him? He knew he shouldn’t but he felt guilty. If he had just taken some time out of his stupid training regime to check on his boyfriend, just remembered to go out with him on Wednesday morning, he would be okay right now. What use was a scholarship if he didn’t even have the most precious thing in his life anymore?

“Mi Querida” Gabe began, knowing how William liked it when he spoke Spanish. “My love, I’m not breaking up with you. You are so perfect. Perfecto para mi.” He held William close to him as the boy let out a sob, sounding almost relieved.

“You’re not? Oh thank God. Thank you so much. I won’t be as clingy. I haven’t been clingy all week- see? So I can do it I swear.” He didn’t sound happy about it and Gabe was still really confused about where he got this idea that he wasn’t absolutely perfect in every way.

“Novio, I don’t want you to be less clingy. If anything you should be clingier. I want you around me all the time. You have no idea how miserable I’ve been without you all week. You can ask Pete, he’s been getting so annoyed with me moping about how little I’ve been able to catch up with you.” Gabe let out a little chuckle at the memory of Pete threatening to throw his boot at Gabe if he didn’t shut up about William.

“But-but the party. And W-w-Wednesday morning.” William sobbed in his arms and Gabe found it a struggle to make sense of what he was saying.

“I’m so sorry about Wednesday my love. Coach just demanded we have an extra practice and then Pete turned up to take me and I completely forgot to tell you. I know it’s no excuse but I swear I want to spend every moment with you for at least the next month so maybe I can make up for it then?” Gabe asked, playfully, trying to cheer his boyfriend up so he could see the smile he loved so much. “And what party mi amor?”

“The pre-match hook up party. Jenny told me about it. She said it was weird that you didn’t bring me and I just- I thought maybe you were ashamed of me. Because I’m not as pretty as those girls that all your teammates date.” William hung his head in shame and It caused Gabe physical pain to see him so sad.

“Oh baby, I’m not ashamed of you but those parties aren’t fun, they’re gross and grimy and there’s drugs, not the fun kind, the scary kind. I popped in with Pete for about an hour but honestly I just wanted to get out of there. I didn’t tell you about it because I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea, what with all the half-naked girls. But I’m so gay for you sweetie I swear I didn’t even look. You can ask Pete; he didn’t bring Patrick either. “

“You promise?”

“I promise.” Gabe thought maybe William might cheer up now and they could spend the rest of the night curled up in each other’s arms talking about nothing and everything until the sun came up, but it didn’t quite happen like that. Instead, William shoved Gabe away from him and started crying again.

“I’m sorry Gabey I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, I just wanted them to stop. I’m so sorry.” His boyfriend looked incredibly distraught and Gabe grabbed him again just to make sure he didn’t hurt himself.

“Shhh, shh I’m sure you didn’t do anything that bad Bilvy baby It’s okay.”

“I did, I did. I broke my promise.” Gabe let out a small exhale and pushed William’s sweater sleeves up his arms. Before saying anything he kissed each and every cut there. It saddened him how long it took, because there were so many little red lines marring his boyfriend’s perfect skin.

“It’s okay my darling, I broke my promise too. So from now on, let’s promise not to break any more promises, yeah?” William looked at him with those angel eyes and Gabe knew he would never let his boy down again. He wanted to punch himself for ever doing it in the first place.

“Ok, I promise.” William sounded tired, so Gabe pushed off his jeans and lay them both down under the covers, so close together you couldn’t tell where one began and the other one ended. Just how he liked it.

“Te amo.” He said simply, kissing his boyfriend’s neck, just where he knew William liked it.

“I love you too.” William replied turning over delicately in Gabe’s arms and pecking him on the lips.

“Oh, by the way, Sisky says he’s never trusting you again.” They both laughed and Gabe was so happy to see that smile he kissed it deeply, wanting to swallow it whole so that he would never lose its beauty. And if they just kept kissing, late into the night, and then early into the morning, until they couldn’t breathe any more (and then some) then no one had to know.


End file.
